Cara Simone

Afinal, estava aqui tudo:

From Uncyclopedia the content-free encyclopedia.

"Archaeology, or archæology (from Αρχαίος, nobody cares, and Λογος, the study of) is the study of really old stuff. Many people confuse archaeology with "archeology" due to the similar spelling and the fact that they mean the same thing.

While seemingly pointless, archaeologists assert that we can learn lots of new stuff by looking at old stuff; this my friends, is a paradox.

[...]

Although a dark shroud of mystery obscures the exact origins of archaeology, expert scientists from Winchester University The Department for the Study and Protection of Archaeology and Llamas believe that archaeology presented itself as an actual science when it was discovered that there was enough old stuff to actually study. Prior to this (August 17th 2003), there just wasn't enough dross to go around. The role of the expanding market and bartering websites such as eBay has enabled people to sell all that random junk they dug up in their garden and an explosion in "artifacts" (old stuff) resulted. Artifacts therefore became readily available for academic consideration and lots of crusty old ex-history professors became very excited. Thus modern archaeology was born.

[...]

Archaeologist

“Don't they dig up dinosaurs or something?”

~ Oscar Wilde

Archaeologists are people cloned from the DNA of George Lucas. Their objective is the recovery of ancient stuff from dusty cellars and caves in order to put them in dusty museums that are only open on weekdays ending in a T and on the 5th day of the epistle. (Or so they would like you to think. Their true goal is in fact world domination.)

Archaeologists, like geologists, tend to be drunkards and cads who live by the rule "a fool and his money are soon partying". However, anyone knows a geologist can drink an archaeologist under the table.

[...]

What to do if you see an Archaeologist

Here is what you should do if you ever meet an archaeologist:

• Complain at them saying that what they are doing is a complete waste of time and money and they should just get out of the way and let the house/office/road be built
• Ask them what the best thing they have ever found is (this really narcs them)
• Ask them how much they get paid (this REALLY narcs them!)
• Ask them if they know Tony Robinson

[...]

Philosophy of the Bronze Age

The Bronze Age has summed up its personal philosophy with the acronym BAM, meaning "Bronze Age Muddaffuga." Sharing concepts with Animism (that all metallic tools and the natural systems that support them are miracles and therefore deserving of respect and dignity), Buddhism (that there is only One Age), and other Spiritual movements, it could be said that the Bronze Age was possibly one of the first proponents of the "Me Generation." However, unlike these other movements, the Bronze Age's philosophy is militaristic, centering on swords and shields, and the use of violence is not only condoned, but emphasized, as long as it is done in the name of BAM!"

Espero, finalmente, ter vertido alguma luz sobre o assunto.